Feeling Feelings

As I write this, I feel a bit anxious and sad.  I suppose I have felt this way for about two days now.  Yesterday I wanted to cry for no good reason, and today, I had the same feeling of deep, heavy saddness paired with gut twisting anxiety.  Not exactly fun stuff.

The kicker is that things in my life seem to be going really well.  On the surface of my life, there is no good reason to be feeling this way and I am only vaguely aware of where these feelings are coming from.  However, I know that I am wise to pay attention to them, and to allow myself to feel my feelings.  I mean really feel them.  Just sit here and consciously feel my feelings.

Sometimes, allowing a feeling that we'd rather not feel is the best way to release it. Resisting feelings, talking ourselves out of them, or merely pushing them aside and "powering through" is not the solution (although it tends to be my M.O.).  But, what we resist persists. The more we try to ignore, or overcome feelings we'd rather not have, the stronger they get.  Feelings are indicators.  They help us to understand if our current thoughts, words, and actions are in alignment with our values and our purpose.

So here I sit.  I allow my feelings.  I blog.  I journal.  I meditate.  I wait.  I know that clarity will come as I allow myself to explore my feelings without judgment.  Ultimately, I know that listening to my gut (where my anxiety currently resides) and my heart (where the sadness is sitting) are smart choices.  And, while I would rather not feel sad and anxious right now, I know that it's all part of my personal growth and development. There is a lesson here for me to learn... and it may very well be what I regularly tell my clients... "Slow down, and listen". 

My to-do list can wait.  Right now, I choose to honor the needs of my soul and nurture my feelings.  I know they are here to teach me.

 

"Lucky"

Today is St. Patrick's Day, and as I sit here, I feel pretty darn lucky.  I have three healthy children who continually challenge me to grow into the person I am meant to become.  I have a husband who loves and supports me in my journey, and I live in a country with a "you can dream it, you can do it" culture. Sure, there are days that go by when I forget just how good I have it, but for the most part, I feel fortunate.

Having said that, I don't really believe in luck.  Or, at leas not in "dumb luck," "good luck," or "bad luck."  I believe that, for the most part, we create our own circumstances, and that even "lucky breaks" are the result of years of preparation.  I have a friend who is one of the hardest working people I know.  He is very well off financially, but has gotten to where he is through working hard, saving carefully, risking, failing, taking responsibility, learning, and risking again.  He has spent his entire adulthood learning from life and creating the circumstances that he desires.  That is not to say that he hasn't had his fair share of failures.  He's just the kind of guy who always manages to find the silver lining.  He fails forward. I have an uncle like this too.  He finds a way to turn just about any circumstance into a win-win.  Last year his house burned down, and although it was devastating, it didn't take long for him to find the opportunity. He now has a newly re-built dream home, a few extra dollars in his pocket, and an intensified gratitude for the things in life that really matter.

Both my friend and my uncle share similar mindsets.  They are good, hardworking people who simply refuse to blame anyone else for their circumstances.  They take responsibility and they look for opportunity.  Yet, I've often heard each of  them described as "lucky."  I think that people who are unwilling to take responsibility for their own lives tend to see those who do as "lucky".  Luck is where preparation meets opportunity. 

So, what about you?  Do you feel lucky?  Are you focused on what you want?  Or on the lack of it?  Are you preparing for your moment of opportunity?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!  Email me at carrie@coach-carrie.com.

Prepare, Position, RISK!

I came across this video on Facebook today.  I'd never seen it.  I watched it this morning, and it completely changed my agenda for the day.  It inspired me, and helped me remember to prepare well, put myself in position to achieve my goals, and then... take a risk.

So let's talk about the back story on this video.  Chris Solinsky set the American Record for the 10k and became the first American under 27 minutes in his VERY FIRST professional 10k!  But this did not happen merely because he is extremely talented, or because he was in a world class field (although bot happen to be true).  It happened because he prepared well, put himself in a good position, and then took the big risk! 

This video opens up just moments before Chris' big risk, his leap of faith, if you will.  He was not used to racing such a long distance, and  he was surrounded by some of the best long distance runners in the world.  He had experience in the past of taking the lead a bit too early in the race and losing it down the stretch... but he took the risk anyway.  He felt the moment, and he seized it.  He ignored the voice of doubt and listened to his body and his gut.  Every cell in his body said "go for it" and he did!  The result was a place in American distance running history!

Naturally, he could not have gotten to this moment without a strong belief in himself and his ability, and a LOT of hard work in preparation for a moment just like this.  But how many of us prepare and prepare, but fail to seize the moment to be great?  How many of us let fear keep us "in the pack" ? 

My goal for the day:  Prepare well, and be open to life's opportunities! 

Gut Check Time

 "At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.." - Lao Tsu

If the above statement is true, then why do we spend so much time and money trying to figure out who we are and what we want?  

Okay, that is a loaded question, and I could spend days answering it.  But, I won't.  I WILL suggest that we are TAUGHT to doubt ourselves at a very young age by well intentioned parents and teachers.  I read an example today about a mom who insisted that her children wear their coats outside to jump on the trampoline.  When her children took off the jackets because they were sweating while they bounced, the mother threatened the children saying that they must wear their jackets or they would have to go inside.  This mother meant well.  She just didn't want her children to be cold.  However, by insisting that they wear their jackets despite the feedback that their bodies were giving them, she taught her children not to trust their inner wisdom. She taught them that their inner nudges aren't valid.

Our public school system does a fantastic job of killing the intuition and inner wisdom of children.  I see this happening with my 6 year old.  She is constantly asking for permission... for everything!  She no longer trusts her gut, but rather looks for external validation.  "Mommy, can I color this horse pink?"  Before sarting school, she would have just colored it and been satisfied with herself.  Now she asks if it is okay and then asks me if I like it. She can't seem to find satisfaction in her work without validation. 

Luckily, I am an enlightened parent, and I tend to counter her questions with questions... ensuring that she remember to check in with her gut and learn to trust and test her own intuition.  But what about you and me?  Are we any different?

We spend so much of our lives researching, consulting the experts, and searching for the right answers. But how many of us spend time each day to check in with our intuition?  We all have it. Take time today to intentionally check in with yourself.  Sit quietly and close your eyes.  Take a few deep breaths, relax, and ask yourself , "What do I need to know today?"  Then wait.  Just wait and breathe. 

Got an important decision to make?  Stop weighing the facts and just sit with it for a day or two.  Your gut may very well supply the answers you need. 

If you'd like to get more in touch with your own inner wisdom and voice, I encourage you to join my 50 Day Shrink While You Grow Challenge.   For details, check: http://www.coach-carrie.com/Services.html