As I write this, I feel a bit anxious and sad. I suppose I have felt this way for about two days now. Yesterday I wanted to cry for no good reason, and today, I had the same feeling of deep, heavy saddness paired with gut twisting anxiety. Not exactly fun stuff.
The kicker is that things in my life seem to be going really well. On the surface of my life, there is no good reason to be feeling this way and I am only vaguely aware of where these feelings are coming from. However, I know that I am wise to pay attention to them, and to allow myself to feel my feelings. I mean really feel them. Just sit here and consciously feel my feelings.
Sometimes, allowing a feeling that we'd rather not feel is the best way to release it. Resisting feelings, talking ourselves out of them, or merely pushing them aside and "powering through" is not the solution (although it tends to be my M.O.). But, what we resist persists. The more we try to ignore, or overcome feelings we'd rather not have, the stronger they get. Feelings are indicators. They help us to understand if our current thoughts, words, and actions are in alignment with our values and our purpose.
So here I sit. I allow my feelings. I blog. I journal. I meditate. I wait. I know that clarity will come as I allow myself to explore my feelings without judgment. Ultimately, I know that listening to my gut (where my anxiety currently resides) and my heart (where the sadness is sitting) are smart choices. And, while I would rather not feel sad and anxious right now, I know that it's all part of my personal growth and development. There is a lesson here for me to learn... and it may very well be what I regularly tell my clients... "Slow down, and listen".
My to-do list can wait. Right now, I choose to honor the needs of my soul and nurture my feelings. I know they are here to teach me.